What Have I Learned in Six Years?

First Birthday 2006

My daughter is going to be six years old in just three days. She is a blossoming little woman. Her birthday is shared with Dr. Suess. Maybe you know him? So that day at school they get to wear pajamas to class. The last time she had a pajama day at school she was so happy you’d have thought it was Christmas. 

So I sit here and think to myself, what have I learned in six years of mothering? This journey started when I was twenty years old. I wasn’t even deemed legal to drink alcohol but I was responsible for the upbringing of another human being. Was I scared? Of course! I always knew that I wanted to be a mom but that didn’t mean I wanted it so soon. Surprises have their way of working out. When she was born, the motherly instinct took over and has guided me since. I mean instinct quite literally. I wasn’t the kind of mother who read all of the baby raising books, or followed other mother’s hipster blogs. I did some research of course but mainly I stuck to the principle of “what worked for my own mother works for me”. If I faced a situation that didn’t fall into that principle, then I made a decision for her based on what I thought felt right. So how did that go for me?

A Year of Memories in a Vase

I found the idea for this on Pinterest (oh how I love that site). There they had a jar with different colors and sizes of papers folded inside. The papers have written memories from throughout the year and you wait to read them at New Years.

I was fortunate to find this pinned idea just after NY 2012. My husband and I spent our 2012 New Years at a dive bar last minute. We still had a great time and we got the midnight kiss with champagne and balloons dropping, but we could have just as easily enjoyed the holiday at home. With that in mind I pitched this memory idea to my husband. He agreed it was a great idea and we've been writing memories since. Though I imagine I out number his memories four to one. :)

Instead of a jar I used the vase from our floating unity candle at our wedding. It has our A and wedding date inscribed on it. It holds the memories and I get to display the vase! Two birds one stone, eh? I am a little bit of a freak when it comes to things matching or coordinating so we use a single white pad for writing. That way they look the same. When we are done I plan to put the papers in a book or collage them in a vintage frame. So come back next year to see.

I anxiously look forward to New Years 2013. We definitely have made plans for the holiday!

Join the Baby Club?

Did you hear the news? Having a baby is the "in thing" to do. All the girls are doing it!

I love babies. I had one in 2006 before it was cool. Now babies are everywhere. Is there something in the water? If there is then I guess my Brita pitcher is filtering it out. Time to switch back to tap!

I have been trying to conceive my first child with my husband. It will be our third child total, the single blood relative that will tie our "u-shaped" family into a circle. My poor husband has had a rough year with me. I was pregnant a month after we were married which resulted in a miscarriage in the 11th week. Words aren't adequate to describe how horrible that feels. Needless to say my husband really had to keep me from laying on the ground in tears everyday. After all, what did I do wrong? Women on drugs carry babies to term and I surely didn't do anything dangerous while pregnant.That was in August and since then we've been trying to conceive.

The first few months of trying to conceive were the worst. Each period was a reminder that I've failed to conceive. Why is it so difficult now when I want it so much? My daughter came to be with little effort. She was a surprise little blessing. Now that I'm actually paying attention to ovulation I can't get pregnant?

I know I sound stressed out over it and everyone who knows me is trying to keep me positive. They all tell me that the baby just wasn't meant to be. God has plans for me. It will happen you just have to relax and not plan for pregnancy so hard... is that really the answer people? Why doesn't anyone say "I know it sucks honey. Let's have a drink and say f#*k the world for being unfair sometimes"? People don't say things like that because they want to help keep you positive. My friends and family were trying to help me through my darkest days and they genuinely care about me. I'll never fully be able to thank them for that.

I just finished a weekend full of family and friends. I had aunts, uncles, cousins, and second cousins in town for my brother's baby shower. My best friend came over on game night and we danced to Michael Jackson on the Wii. I was able to baby sit another best friend's precious little angel who was so happy and just brought so much joy to my heart. Throughout the weekend I kept feeling so thankful that they were all here and that they are my family. I know you don't get to pick your family but if I could, these are exactly the people that I would pick. I am just so lucky to be in the life that I was given.

I know there are a lot of different tones and messages in this post but what I'm trying to say is that I learned something this weekend. I live a great life. I have so much to be thankful for every day, not just at Thanksgiving. I have realized that I need to stop being jealous of the baby club that grows everyday on Facebook. I am happy for those people. They are in the beginning of joys that I am fortunate to understand through my own experiences. I also realize that I need to let go of my lost baby. Of course I'll never fully let it go. But I accept that none of it was my fault. It simply wasn't meant to be. One of these days I will let go of the ultra sound picture of that little fetus that I didn't meet. It's a picture of a little blob but I loved that blob with all of my soul. Today isn't that day. For now it remains in my drawer because I can't quite let it go just yet.

I am blessed with a beautiful life and family. From now on, I embrace that and focus not on my ovulation calendar, but on the blessings around me. Some day a little blob will be ready to join our ranks and it will be so loved. With all of our family and pseudo family around, we don't need the baby club.

My Visit to Kindergarten

Today I fulfilled a dream of mine, to volunteer in my child’s classroom. I remember being a kid and seeing my mom in my class. It made me so happy and I felt special because she came. Today I was the volunteer mom and my daughter smiled proudly at me. She focused in class but occasionally she'd sneak looks at me. Her classmate named Omar wasn’t so sneaky. He waved a lot and came to talk to me quite a few times. :)

Teachers have a lot of patience. There were several times that I wanted to stand up and wrangle-up the wild kids with my “mom voice”. I held it in and Mr. London took care of it quite nicely with such calmness. He would threaten to take away points from their groups and that seemed to work well.

We played BINGO in Spanish, wrote a comic in Spanish, practiced the English alphabet, practiced the days of the week, the months of the year, and learned two new words: square and rectangle. I was quite impressed that the students could follow along and understand the teacher in both languages. The dual language program at her school is amazing and I am so glad I was able to visit and help in Kindergarten today.

Honored to be a Matron

I was asked to be my best friend’s Matron of Honor in her wedding on September 8^th. The word honor is definitely fitting because I was truly honored to be asked. Since that moment I have spent a lot of my time researching inspiration and thinking of ways I can make this easier and more affordable for the bride. That’s my job; help the bride get hitched without a hitch.

I've designed her invitations and RSVP cards recently. We have the paper, so pretty soon we will print them. Her theme is Vintage so I have an idea about how to make the edges look old but still classy for her wedding. I cross my fingers it works out. We are also doing some cool things for the ceremony with wine bottles to hold candles and new postcards that appear old. It will be fun to post photographs of all of these after her wedding which is just 206 days away! It seems like an eternity when it's your own wedding. I remember that the night before my own wedding I thought wow this used to be 300 days away... and now it's HERE. <3

Helping plan someones wedding is much easier than planning your own. You get to be involved in all of the fun and be left out of the stressing side associated with prices. The wedding industry sure is a money maker. I almost feel like I should venture into event planning one day (because I like it, not just because of the money). I’ve been thoroughly enjoying the planning of her bridal shower and that is not for another six months. I wish I could share what I’ve come up with so far but I can’t tip off the bride to what I’ve got in store for her. Be sure to check back in September for some post bridal shower pictures.

Take a look at the soon-to-be Andersen family here: http://nicholasandaleigha.ourwedding.com/

Va Va Va Valentine

Yes, today is a consumer holiday and we love each other every day not just today. That said, I can’t lie and say that I don’t like seeing my husband walk into my work with red roses and a sweet card professing his love. He’s done this for my birthday and another day just because, but today he gave in to tradition and showed me some love. Happy wife over here!

My daughter had her first Valentine’s Day party today. When I picked her up she was very excited to show me all of the cards she received. She also had smudges of red frosting all over her face and hands from a cupcake. She gave me her Valentine from Lily because it was Harry Potter and said “Here mom, this is for you because it’s your favorite movie. Maybe you can hang it up at work and show your friends.” Of course I did what she suggested. :) I gave her a red rose from Garrick, her step-dad and she beamed at it. “Why did he give me this, because he loves me?” Well of course he does.

Today, my friend’s infant son Mason is recovering from a successful catheter surgery on his heart. At eight days old he is proving to be a tough guy just like his momma. He will need to see a cardiologist as he grows and have another surgery as an adult, but thanks to amazing technology, doctors, and research, he is going to lead a strong and healthy life. We are so grateful he received such top notch care. Mason’s life could not have been saved without the knowledge gained from research foundations like The Children’s Heart Foundation.
Join me today in supporting further research and saving more children’s lives. Every 15 minutes, a child is born with a heart defect. It takes less than 15 minutes donate to the cause that saves their lives.
http://www.childrensheartfoundation.org/donate-now

Hide and Seek

Where did I go? Where have I been? I left the blogging world in the dust. I wanted to track wedding planning on my blog but… well… I didn’t. It was all I could think about or work on for a whole year and it took every ounce of creative juice that I had. I enjoyed the process but I am so glad it’s behind me. Our wedding day was flawless. It felt ten times better than I had imagined. That happy elated feeling leaves tingles in your body the whole day. We have survived some pretty serious challenges together since the day after our return from our honeymoon. The roller coaster ride hasn’t stopped since.

We are 64 days away from our one year anniversary. 65 days from the anniversary of our first meeting. I look forward to the future year for us.