Mean Girls in 1890's New York

I talk about books a lot. I became serious about reading after falling upon the Harry Potter series. Nothing has been as good as that series, but I do find great reads from time to time. Some come from friends, most come from “Amazon’s Recommended for You” list on my kindle. There are also several authors that I just can’t get enough of and therefore I read everything they will ever write. One such author is Anna Godbersen.

While visiting family in California I saw my cousin who is an avid/old school reader (and when I say old school I mean that she keeps every book she reads and will NEVER convert to a kindle) reading The Luxe by Anna Godbersen. I didn’t even get a synopsis from her. I liked the cover I saw in her  hand and that was enough to pique my curiousity. I was weary of the new read because I was worried it would be some “Gossip Girl” garbage that would annoy the hell out of me. So rather than buy, or even download a free sample, I checked it out from the library. The city library was new at the time and I wanted to see the inside of the building. The book was better than I could have expected. I quickly went on to read the following three books.

The story is set in the late 1890’s. There is girl drama, gossip, lies, murder, sex (though not 50 shades style) and of course tragic love. What appealed to me was how much the book reminded me of the great movie Mean Girls. This book and that movie both display how evil a girl can be to have what she wants for herself. Beauty and fame is so important to young women, no one else matters. I’d say the only difference between the characters in the book from over 100 years ago, and girls in our current time period, is their circumstances based on the times. The root emotions and ideas are all the same, but back then you had to worry about what was proper of a lady and who would talk about you to the society pages in the newspaper. For instance, it is un-lady-like to go in public without a hat. You will get freckles! Also, if you are seen without a male escort when you’re unmarried, be sure that you will hear about it in the newspaper and all around town. The “rules” of the late 1800’s are so ridiculous. I think some politicians currently running for office would love to put women back in these constricting rules… but I digress.

Read “The Luxe”, by Anna Godbersen and continue through the series. When you finish, move onto her other series, “Bright Young Things” set in the 1920’s. Though the setting in the 20’s is so advanced in time compared to the 1890’s, they still had a long way to go. I love them both. You won’t be disappointed.

Find her series’ in reading order: www.annagodbersen.com

Hating is Caring

Someone close to me asked how it is possible that I don’t hate people. Of course there are people in this world that will hurt us bad. They make us so angry and we can’t understand what evil motivates them to do or say the things that they do. In return, people tend to “hate” those evil doers whether they admit it or not. I say “admit it or not” because plenty of us will say that we don’t hate, we just dislike; because after all, hate is such a strong word. I truly hate no one, despite having the right to. So how is that possible? 

I am too good of a person to be dragged down by any negative person or energy. It is my belief that hate is not acceptable because it means that I care. If I hate you, then that means I care enough about you or your actions to hate you. If there is anything that will drive me crazier than a person who means to cause me misery, it is letting that person know that they have succeeded. It grinds my gears to give anyone the satisfaction of knowing that they got to me. Isn’t that what they want anyway? If I truly don’t like a person or want to associate with them, I won’t. I don’t lose sleep at night trying to understand the evil in their brain, or their lack of a heart. I don’t take actions to cause them grief. I don’t even talk about them or their actions to another person. Because all of those actions say that they matter in my life in even a miniscule way. If they’ve done me wrong they are nothing to me. 

It’s simple to understand but it just might take time for you to feel this way for yourself. If someone did you wrong, they don’t deserve a part of you. Good riddance! Don’t evaluate what motivates others. Evaluate what motivates you and better yourself.

In short, I won’t take the time to hate. If I do, it means that I care. I don’t.

Momma Lion and Her Baby Cub

Love is not measurable. My business teacher lectured us on quality control in business and that quality is something that cannot be measured. Emotions are not measurable. My daughter and I still do our best to measure it anyhow. Some of the things we say to each other are: “I love you WAY above the planet”, “you’re my best girl; you’re my best mommy”, and “who loves you the most?”

It’s been a little over six years and I still sometimes look at her and think, holy cow she’s my child. I’m her mother. I guess that feeling of how remarkable parenting is will never leave me. We know we love our kids more than anything else in the world. We say it to them and ourselves all of the time. But it can’t be measured and can’t be physically weighed. You almost don’t realize how strong it is because it’s just so natural, like breathing. Do you notice how many breathes you take? Do you focus to breathe? Of course you don’t. Like breathing, you just naturally love your child.

The strength of my emotions for Halle came rushing through me in a matter of seconds last Saturday. We were preparing for her dental work and I was as calm as can be; leading by example for my child. I knew she was going to be “put to sleep” but in my mind I imagined that she’d close her eyes and just sleep. How wrong I was. After the shot she was given while sitting in my lap, a few minutes passed before she stopped talking. She didn’t respond which is what the dentist told me would soon happen. Since her eyes were open I didn’t believe her to be asleep. I told her “I love you” and she didn’t say it back. At that point I knew she was out, but her eyes were open which made it terrifying for me. The anesthesiologist then said “want to come with me now?” My daughter does NOT go anywhere with strangers, yet she didn’t answer and didn’t react to him taking her from me. She lay motionless in his arms with her eyes wide open.

To say I freaked out might be an understatement. They assured me that this is a natural reaction and that everything was normal, but I was still terrified. In an instant my heart was racing, my eyes were balling and I was shaking. I walked outside to catch my breath. All I knew is that I wanted to shake Halle and wake her up. My instincts screamed that something was wrong with my baby. I wanted to take action. I eventually came to my senses and calmed down; Halle came awake an hour and a half later. She’s doing well since the appointment. Reflecting on how I physically reacted to seeing her that way, I am amazed. Of course we know we love our children, but I had yet to experience such a physical and consuming reaction to what I perceived as harm of my child. I didn’t think she was literally being harmed, but wow a mother’s instincts to protect are just as primal as a mother lion protecting her cub.

If love could be measured, I can’t imagine what our love would rate. I imagine that the scale wouldn’t be strong enough to weigh it for us. What I felt that day, sadly, is what some parents have to feel everyday with their sick children. I thank my lucky stars that Halle is over all a healthy and ailment free child. My heart goes out to parents who raise their children in and out of hospitals and surgeries. We all deserve healthy children.