I’ve seen the bumper stickers “Keep Portland Weird”. It’s apparently common knowledge that Portland has its odd entities. Now that I work downtown I see them everyday and I just want to share some of my experiences.
I’ve been asked by a man on the street if I happened to have a crack pipe. I’ve been stopped by an old woman I’ve never seen before who said “Excuse me, I can feel you and… (sigh) you really shouldn’t be having sex. Sex without marriage is wrong.” I’ve sat too close to some teenage girls at McDonald’s who stopped a random boy their age to say “Hey I know I don’t know you but, do you by any chance have any shrooms or acid?” The strange man who had walked in moments before that and asked to borrow their cell phone had the mind to tell her to quiet down when asking things like that. Then he continued his conversation with someone he called on her cell phone about how he needed to be picked up and that he just got out of a six month jail sentence.
Then there’s the fun ones… the woman who carried her house cat in her t-shirt on a cold day, the guy dressed in full pirate gear, the woman who grabbed a strange man by his balls on the train and tried to twist them just because he bumped into her. Who could forget the guy with a lasso practicing his moves in Pioneer Square? He can whip his rope around and jump in and out of it without messing up!
The most entertaining so far was the guy who decided to mime in Pioneer Square today. He bumped into invisible things, pulled an invisible rope, talked to people I couldn’t see, walked like a dinosaur, and much more. To top his act he did a cartwheel into a one handed push-up using only his thumb and pointer finger. With the sun shining on the whole square he had plenty of people sitting around on lunch watching his show. Someone sitting near me said, “gotta love Portland”. I have to admit it, I kind of do.
I’ve been asked by a man on the street if I happened to have a crack pipe. I’ve been stopped by an old woman I’ve never seen before who said “Excuse me, I can feel you and… (sigh) you really shouldn’t be having sex. Sex without marriage is wrong.” I’ve sat too close to some teenage girls at McDonald’s who stopped a random boy their age to say “Hey I know I don’t know you but, do you by any chance have any shrooms or acid?” The strange man who had walked in moments before that and asked to borrow their cell phone had the mind to tell her to quiet down when asking things like that. Then he continued his conversation with someone he called on her cell phone about how he needed to be picked up and that he just got out of a six month jail sentence.
Then there’s the fun ones… the woman who carried her house cat in her t-shirt on a cold day, the guy dressed in full pirate gear, the woman who grabbed a strange man by his balls on the train and tried to twist them just because he bumped into her. Who could forget the guy with a lasso practicing his moves in Pioneer Square? He can whip his rope around and jump in and out of it without messing up!
The most entertaining so far was the guy who decided to mime in Pioneer Square today. He bumped into invisible things, pulled an invisible rope, talked to people I couldn’t see, walked like a dinosaur, and much more. To top his act he did a cartwheel into a one handed push-up using only his thumb and pointer finger. With the sun shining on the whole square he had plenty of people sitting around on lunch watching his show. Someone sitting near me said, “gotta love Portland”. I have to admit it, I kind of do.
